Carson's teacher broke her leg in the summer. She has not been back to school yet. Now, Friday is his current teacher Mrs. Ball's last day and the new teacher will take over.
He got in the car on Wednesday. He was quiet. I said, "Did you have a good day?" He said, " Not really. Mom, Friday is going to be Mrs. Ball's last day." Then it was quiet again. I looked up and he was sobbing. Poor little boy. I tried to help him see that it was going to be ok. Miss Smith would do a great job. He likes Miss Smith, but there is just that bond with Mrs. Ball.
He told me that at school when he found out that his eyes filled up with water, but none of it fell on his cheeks. He didn't want to be made fun of for crying.
It just breaks my heart that there is something hurting inside him that I can't make better. This is definitely one of those growing pains that mothers experience. It is so hard. There is that quote that says, "Deciding to become a mother is to decided for the rest of your life to have your heart got walking around outside your body." So true. I know this is small in the big picture of life, but is hard, nonetheless. We'll make it, because the only thing constant in life is change! Carson has always been my one that doesn't do well with change...new babies, moving, changing plans...Well, I guess this will be one more step to help him overcome that.
On a different note, the other day I was working on making our blog into a book. I was reading to him about a time he broke my center piece. I think the post was called "Lessons learned from a 3 year old and an angel mother". Anyway, in it I say how much I love him. I looked down and he was crying. Tears spilling over the edge of his eyes. I said, "Carson, what is the matter?" He said, "I don't know. It just makes me feel really good that you love me that much!" I just hugged and hugged him. That is so cute. Carson, I do love you that much! More than anything in the whole wide world!
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Just a few thoughts...
Today in church I looked down at my hands. They have a few burns on them. My mom always had burns from the oven on her arms. I couldn't understand why that would happen. Now that I have a herd of children to feed AND take care of, I understand. It is not just cooking food. It is cooking food with a baby at your ankles, a toddler needing his bum wiped, a bigger one mad cause his brother won't share, and the oldest not sharing just to hear the brother cry. Add in a little fatigue and that is how burns happen.
I also am having issues with names. I can't ever get the right one out. Logan corrects me all the time. He says, "Mom, you say Luke and Logan." or "Mom, you say Carson and Logan." He never lets it slide. I always hated it as a child that my mom called me Heatherrobertbrandoncourtney. I would just roll my eyes.
Probably the most annoying thing that my mom would do was carry around this big huge purse. It carried around every card ever issued to her or to any of us kids. Then we'd be shopping somewhere and they would need to see her ID. Well, of course she had to dig through all the cards and it was so embarrassing!!! Same thing with change...she would just need 11 cents. And she would find it buried in the bottom of that purse. Well, now I have a purse the size of a small suite case. I am constantly digging for cards and change that is buried under diapers, wipes, Lego men, trains, candy wrappers, and a whole lot of totally random stuff.
As I have grown into a mother of 4, I realize now that I should have been so much nicer to my mom and a whole lot less critical! Even in all my weaknesses, I am trying! HARD! I am figuring out that an unorganized wallet is ok if I have a few minutes to give a hug...or keep one of the boys from running out the door at the grocery store! I know my mom tried hard too. I am forever grateful that she gave me an amazing example of what a mother should be. I have my shameful moments, but overall, I think I am doing ok. I love my family more than anything, and if I start calling Luke Carsonnathanloganluke, it is ok!
I also am having issues with names. I can't ever get the right one out. Logan corrects me all the time. He says, "Mom, you say Luke and Logan." or "Mom, you say Carson and Logan." He never lets it slide. I always hated it as a child that my mom called me Heatherrobertbrandoncourtney. I would just roll my eyes.
Probably the most annoying thing that my mom would do was carry around this big huge purse. It carried around every card ever issued to her or to any of us kids. Then we'd be shopping somewhere and they would need to see her ID. Well, of course she had to dig through all the cards and it was so embarrassing!!! Same thing with change...she would just need 11 cents. And she would find it buried in the bottom of that purse. Well, now I have a purse the size of a small suite case. I am constantly digging for cards and change that is buried under diapers, wipes, Lego men, trains, candy wrappers, and a whole lot of totally random stuff.
As I have grown into a mother of 4, I realize now that I should have been so much nicer to my mom and a whole lot less critical! Even in all my weaknesses, I am trying! HARD! I am figuring out that an unorganized wallet is ok if I have a few minutes to give a hug...or keep one of the boys from running out the door at the grocery store! I know my mom tried hard too. I am forever grateful that she gave me an amazing example of what a mother should be. I have my shameful moments, but overall, I think I am doing ok. I love my family more than anything, and if I start calling Luke Carsonnathanloganluke, it is ok!
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
The Not So Happy New Year
We had such a fun New Years planned. Our plans were definitely derailed. Our neighbors were moving, so we had a going away party for them. We had about 60 people over for cinnamon rolls and hot chocolate. The Shawcroft kids got to our house with their dad and came in saying, "Our mom is home with Kinsley. She just threw up. They will be here in a minute." The party was fun. We had a great time. The party was on Thursday.
Early Saturday morning...more like the middle of the night, Logan started throwing up. It spread like wild fire. All the boys were sick on Saturday. Wilkins were blessing Paige on Sunday. I made all the food for the blessing on Saturday. We sprayed down every hard surface in this house. No one felt good so there was no going to Grandma's for a party. It was so sad. The kids all knew that there cousins were there, but they couldn't go play. Nathan felt good for most of the day. It hit him last. He kept saying, "This is the most boring day ever. I have no brothers to play with. This is not fun." It really was a sad day.
New Years day, I went to church. Robbie stayed home with the boys and we swapped during Sunday school. He had to teach his priesthood lesson. At church, I found out that half of our primary was sick! It didn't all come from our house. This apparently was going around bad in the community. I had been home from church only a few minutes when I started to get sick. Robbie walked in the door and went immediately to the bathroom. And that is how we spent our New Years day! YUCK. By this point the kids were better and just tore our house apart. I didn't even care. The only thing I could think of was, "It can only get better from here!" And it has!
Early Saturday morning...more like the middle of the night, Logan started throwing up. It spread like wild fire. All the boys were sick on Saturday. Wilkins were blessing Paige on Sunday. I made all the food for the blessing on Saturday. We sprayed down every hard surface in this house. No one felt good so there was no going to Grandma's for a party. It was so sad. The kids all knew that there cousins were there, but they couldn't go play. Nathan felt good for most of the day. It hit him last. He kept saying, "This is the most boring day ever. I have no brothers to play with. This is not fun." It really was a sad day.
New Years day, I went to church. Robbie stayed home with the boys and we swapped during Sunday school. He had to teach his priesthood lesson. At church, I found out that half of our primary was sick! It didn't all come from our house. This apparently was going around bad in the community. I had been home from church only a few minutes when I started to get sick. Robbie walked in the door and went immediately to the bathroom. And that is how we spent our New Years day! YUCK. By this point the kids were better and just tore our house apart. I didn't even care. The only thing I could think of was, "It can only get better from here!" And it has!
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Our chief is gone...
We have been having kind of a sad day at our house. Carson went back to school. Nate and Logan have been following me around all day long saying, "There is nothing to do...We are bored...There is no one to play with..." What they really mean is that they are the Indians and Carson is their chief. With out him here telling them what to play and how to play it makes life a little hard. There are so many things to do. It think it mostly is that neither Nate nor Logan knows what he wants to do. It is just like when Carson started school. There is definitely an adjustment. We MISS our chief! Good thing he is only gone for a couple of hours!
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